I'm ready..so BRING IT ON 2011 :)

December 31,2010

It's the last day of December, and definitely the last day of the year :)

And since it's the last day of the year, I'm going to write my last blog for the year!

Year 2010 has been a so - so year for me..meaning it's not too good but not too bad either..in short SAKTO lang :)

As I look back i start to realize on how I spent my 2010,well last year..the same date, we did not really celebrate,my family did not even bother to wait for the upcoming year, my parents and siblings slept while i stayed awake writing a blog about what I felt that night.I can vividly remember how I felt that night..I was crying in front of the computer as I write about the hurts and pains that I'm feeling...all because last year was the very first year that my family's not complete for the new year..sad but true,we will never be complete because RON is now with our creator...but I know he will always be with us,though not physically...i know he will always be there watching over us..

Last year, I practiced my profession as a nurse,though it was on October 2009 when it started, I was a community health nurse until June 2010,I experienced attending seminars, attending medical missions,operation tuli,ambulating patients, bringing them to hospitals in Manila and in Mariveles, Bataan..the entire experience was fun..it was fulfilling..

I also had another job last year, I went back on teaching English to Korean students right after my contract at the LGU expired, i guess teaching will always be a a part of me..i just love doing it and I feel happy when I teach, so if they are going to ask me to teach again..I'd be very willing to do it again :)

I guess one highlight of my 2010 would be FALLING IN LOVE and FALLING OUT OF LOVE  at the same time :) (but i always fall in love every year!aha) YEP! I fell in love last year!! One of the most thrilling experiences ever..because it was just last year when I experienced a more matured kind of love, the kind of love that you thought would never end,,but of course it did END.. OK no bitterness :) I'm just trying to remember..I can remember the crazy things I did, all the letters, the gimiks and surprises!all in the name of LOVE!!aha..no regrets though..but as I said I also fell out of love..I broke my heart last year..the most painful heartbreak so far! (and i don't wanna experience it again!!aha) but of course it's not that I'm broken hearted the whole year,I was able to bounce back and be whole again only because I found a reason to move on!yay!!..

A lot of things happened, I also experienced being a "bum" for the longest time,spending most of my time at home, attending to my little brother and doing houseworks..it's not so bad after all :) I also had more arguments with my dad because I insist to work in Manila rather than stay and work here in Pampanga..I'm still going to insist i guess :)) 

If people will ask me if there are any regrets, I would have to say " A LOT"..but regrets will not do me any good.If I'm going to dwell on my regrets, I will never be able to move on..

So i guess it boils down to this..

Year 2010 has given me a lot of experiences...both good and bad..this year..

...decisions and sacrifices were made,i cried and laughed,i said things i thought i could never say,met new people,started friendship,ended some,broke my heart,broke someone else's heart,fell in love,fell out of love and eventually finding a new love..this year taught me lessons that I know ill never learn in any other way,things may be tough but I surpassed them all, and because of that I'm a better person..probably a matured one, a stronger one..

They say endings are beginnings...and as the year ends..I'm leaving behind all the negative vibes, all the hurts and baggages that may prevent me from giving my new beginning a warm welcome, but am definitely going to bring with me the learnings and experiences that 2010 gave me,as the new year comes I welcome it with happiness and love...

To all the people who became a part of my 2010,my family, my friends,old ones and new ones,and to a very special person..thank you for being a part of my 2010,thank you for staying with with me,for making my year simply amazing and worth everything..

and to my ENEMIES..you still have another year to try to break me,,but i bet you can't :) thank you for making my life more interesting :))

THANK YOU 2010!

Goodbye and Thank you 2010!!

Now I'm ready for new challenges and new learnings...

I'm ready for a new beginning..so BRING IT ON 2011!! :)

-rye

LOVE?seriously?

December 29,2010

Just an ordinary day in my oh so ordinary life..

I'm just wondering what else I can do to kill this boredom I have..

and so..I'm writing a blog..

I'm just thinking right now on what particular topic should I dwell on..hmmm..let it be LOVE!

OK..i really don't know if I'm the right person to write about this topic..but I'm going to give it a try...

What is LOVE?

The truth of the matter is..I DON'T KNOW! of course i can define it..but trying to think about it..do i really know what love is?do YOU really know what love is?

Well as for me, LOVE is difficult..it has given me the best and the worst of my life..

Yah right.talk about HEARTACHES,PAINS and HURTS..I've been there..a couple of times if I may say..

and the feeling...oh it SUCKS..

But ofcourse it has also given me "some" good times,i felt the kilig,the happiness,the unexplainable feeling of excitement when you're about to see the person you like..the feeling is just..well..happy..but LOVE so far never gave me a happy ending...aha! yah..and i wonder..why?! I've been so good, I know for sure that I know how to love..but why no happy ending?

well the best answer answer maybe is.. IT'S NOT YET TIME..I seriously want to believe on this..but sometimes I just can't...they say the RIGHT ONE will come..is there such thing as THE RIGHT ONE?because for me..I BELIEVE that you make yourself RIGHT for the person that you choose to love :)

Some issues about LOVE:

1. How will I know if he is " THE ONE"?

I've asked a couple of people about this issue, and all their answers would end up "you just feel it, it's like magic"..well they might be right, you can never question the feelings of a person who is inlove..they are the ONLY persons who can describe what they feel..well for me, I guess I have to agree with them,YOU just FEEL it..for some reasons you just can't explain the feeling right..but of course when we are inlove,we, most of the time get confused..we tend to ask ourselves and sometimes others about what we feel, but i guess ,LOVE is a RISK..if you get to love a person and it ends up that HE is really the one for you, then LUCKY YOU! BUT..if it ends up the other way around maybe he is not yet the one rightfully meant for you..let's just say,he's just a part of the story you have to deal with and forget sooner or later..you just have to continue the search :)

2. Is it TRUE LOVE?

I was searching over the net when I found this quote:

"True love is finding someone who makes you want to be better, and believes you are more wonderful than you yourself believes"

I was amazed by the content of this quote,because for me this is what TRUE love is. Love is supposed to make you feel good about yourself, it's supposed to bring out the best in you,it's not supposed to destroy you..Finding TRUE love I guess will make you want to become a better person, not only for the person you love but most specially for YOURSELF. 


One more thing, I believe that it is true love when the well-being of the loved one comes first before yours..because love is not SELFISH, love is self sacrificing and giving..this is how true love is for me..


3. Is it WORTH THE FIGHT?


Most of us,I assume experienced heartaches,we were all once placed into situations where we have to choose between holding on and letting go..and as easy as we can say it, it's one of the most difficult things to decide on..


i'll have a more personal attack on this one..


 well in my case, i have to say that I am a fighter when it comes to love,I've been into a lot of complicated stuffs when it comes to it,but if I know and feel that the love is worth the fight, then am very willing to fight for it,


do i get hurt? YES! DEFINITELY! 
is it difficult?! ABSOLUTELY!


but why do i do it? it's simple..it's because I don't want to give up without giving it a try and i don't want to give up a battle without giving it a good fight,,it's all about taking risk..LOVE is a risk and it takes a very brave individual to take the love risk..


but it doesn't end there... i know how to fight but i also know WHEN TO STOP FIGHTING...


I STOP when i know that there is no longer a reason to hold on,i stop when i know that I'm the only one fighting,why?because in love..you can never fight alone..if you are fighting for that one person you love and he is not doing the same thing..then..hey!!wake up..and be kind to yourself..it's not worth the effort at all..you take risk,you get hurt and you suffer for NOTHING..it's not supposed to be that way..you are fighting because you know and feel that it's worth the try, but if you are presented with the truth that there is no more reason to fight or to hold on..there's only one thing left to do..and.that is to LET GO and to take one step forward to move on..


As i said, love is a risk, meaning you will never know if you will come up with a good ending or not..if you end up being with the person you love, then it's worth all the pain..but if not..i guess you can just give yourself a pat on the shoulder for being brave enough to take the risk and giving your fight a good fight..Sometimes getting hurt is also good, for it makes you a stronger and a better person in the end..


At the end of it all i guess no one can really define what LOVE is..for love is PERSONAL and SUBJECTIVE because we all want different things, nothing can provide what we're looking for in life. So love and life is a thing full of frustration on some unconscious level..

Someday,someone will come into your life,someone who will hold your hand and will NEVER LET IT GO - rye :)