the silence of the night.

reposted: January 01, 2010

it will be less than an hour before the year ends..i hear people outside,chatting and cheering,they seem to be excited about the coming year..the fireworks are starting,the noise is starting to fill the surroundings,but here i am..infront of the computer,trying to waste my time over the net..making myself busy..trying to ignore the sounds that i hear..

it seems unbelievable that we are not really celebrating NEW YEAR..in our house,there's nothing but silence..nothing but sadness and emptiness..it's just like an ordinary day..another hurting day..

i can imagine how great this day could be if we were complete..we would go to church,we would be preparing our meals,we will be just like any other family,happy and excited about the coming year..


i used to be very excited about this event...but now am just hoping that this day will pass as quickly as possible..my heart is breaking as i remember the way we celebrate this day..am wondering if we will still be able to celebrate any event without hurting,without crying...


here i am again..writing a note..could anyone see the tears i am crying now?could anyone feel the emptiness am feeling now?can anyone see me hurting?can anyone feel my pain?tell me..

everyone is excited,my friends are happy,they are celebrating,i can feel their happiness,they send me greetings and all,,but i can't even give them a good greeting back..


tonight..i am saying..life is unfair..
how can others be happy and i can't
how can they laugh when i can't even smile
how can they celebrate when i am mourning..
tell me how?

as i hear the noise outside,the pain sinks in..
as i hear their laughters my tears would not stop from falling..
as i see the bright lights,the darkness of sadness overshadows me..

.NEW year... another heartbreaking event for us,another crying night..another reminder of how things used to be..

sad and empty.hurting and crying.where do i go from here..